Memories- Making New, Remembering Old and Fearing Potential

Our Memorial Day holiday began somewhat early we packed a picnic and headed to the lake. This picnic was supposed to occur on Saturday or Sunday but the rainy weather deterred our plans. I don't mind the rain, it smells incredible. But this early in the season, it tends to make me cold and then usually sick.But this morning turned out beautiful! My daughter brought a friend, and we met a friend of mine who had a rare long weekend without her kids.
We roasted hot dogs, and marshmallows. Ate homemade summer salads, fresh vegetables, and some other snacks not as good for us. We played ball, and threw a frisbee, and took a short walk/hike to the shore of the lake. It was really relaxing and nice weather to boot.

During the day, I tried unsuccessfully to get a hold of my son. He is at military training this month in another state and they are training for his next mission in Iraq. A day like memorial day, when we are all remembering the family members we love, and miss, I miss him terribly. There are many military thank you events this weekend across our state. Although I think that they serve a very important purpose, they bring up emotions in me that I am not sure I am ready to face. So we picnic. And think about happy things.

Memorial Day has also been the day, since I was a very small child, my mother would take us to the cemetery's to remember and celebrate our family that had passed. As I have mentioned here before, my parents recently moved approx 300 miles from here. So, my girls and I purchased some daisies and took them to their burial spots.
I never knew my fathers father. He passed away when my older sister was a baby. But I feel connected to him through my grandmother, who passed when I was pregnant with my second child. I also feel close to him through stories that my parents tell.

This past summer, when we were packing my parents house for the move, I found a box. In that box, I found old pictures and dance cards. I also found high school journals of my fathers parents in their high school courting years. I read in their own words, how they fell in love. And both journals continue through their engagement and marriage. It was amazing to read those. They are now framed in my parents house. A gift for his birthday. The pages open to the date of their engagement. Don't we all wish we had a book of our family past written by them journal style?

My mothers mother, also died young. When I was just about to turn five years old. I remember her, but not well. Her husband, my grandfather passed away only a couple years ago. We were very lucky to have had a long time with him near to us. But i think he was ready to see her again.

I miss them all! Terribly. But I see bits of them in my parents. And even in my own children.
Remembrance is so important and I try to tell my children all I can remember. Especially my youngest! Talk about a steel trap memory!

Happy Memorial Day Everyone- hope it was great. Miss you Mom and Dad.

Single mothers where you least expect them

I hope that my thoughts and reviews of older movies are not getting mundane or boring.

We have had a lot of spring rain over the past week. Although I love the rain, I prefer to stay in watching old movies while listening to it fall on the windows and rooftop to actually being in it.
So a few days ago, I poured a cup of tea and snuggled in to watch another movie from my Netflix account.
In a recent post, I wrote an account of the movie Kramer vs. Kramer and how the events in my life changed the way I viewed it. This past week I viewed, Places in the heart another movie I viewed for the first time while in my teens. When I added it to my movie queue about all I could recall about this movie was that it was about a woman and her struggle to keep her farm. However I couldn't really recall what the actual struggle was.

Turns out, early on in the movie she becomes a widow and single mother. Her characters' struggles are somewhat typical of many single parents, such as learning to live without someone to wake up to or turn to during tragedy and trial. She struggles taking on what would have been her late husbands role. She lives in the deep south in a time of segregation. She becomes friends with two somewhat unlikely subjects and they all end up leaning on each other and become fast friends. They are all three facing challenge in their different ways and able to lean on each other.

Single parents cannot possibly survive without others to support them. In my life, it has been close friends, other single parents, my parents and even my own children who have helped me face the difficulties and challenges throughout the past twelve years.

Sally Fields character is stubborn and strong, but also has moments of self-defeat, worry, and fear. I can relate to all of those feelings. While she is struggling with her sudden thrust into singlehood, her sister is strugging with infidelity and forgiveness, another aspect I can relate to.

I was awarded our house in my divorce, it has been a blessing and a burden. Without a roof over our heads, I don't know where we would have gone. Without the house I am in and the mortgage and payments figured prior to the huge rate increases of the past ten years, I would never be able to afford a house on my own.

There have been times during my life as a single mother when coming up with the mortgage was tough. The house itself has cost me thousands in repairs and upkeep. I sometimes thought it would have been easier to rent and let someone else worry about the repairs. But it was worth the struggles to give my children a house of our own. A yard to play in, each a bedroom of their own. In the movie she is determined to keep her family together and in their own home, in her case a cotton farm.

This time, I watched the movie as a single parent. I read a lot of blogs written by single parents. whether by widowhood or divorce, single parents face a lot of the same challenges. Whether ex's are still in the children's lives or not, whether the relationship is civil or strained, whether the kids are young or grown, parenting solo has challenges and rewards.

The strength that the main character has in the movie is unyielding and I try everyday to keep the positive strength that she shows in the movie.

I highly recommend this movie to anyone, it is not all about singleparenting. The movie touches on many other struggles and also hope. A real feel good movie that touches your heart. Probably not as much a favorite with the guys. Perfect for a rainy day.