Life as a single Mother-Empty nest, Dating, Ex-husband, Best Friends, Full-time Employment, Unemployment, night school...How do these all relate to one another? Come with me:

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Single mothers where you least expect them

I hope that my thoughts and reviews of older movies are not getting mundane or boring.

We have had a lot of spring rain over the past week. Although I love the rain, I prefer to stay in watching old movies while listening to it fall on the windows and rooftop to actually being in it.
So a few days ago, I poured a cup of tea and snuggled in to watch another movie from my Netflix account.
In a recent post, I wrote an account of the movie Kramer vs. Kramer and how the events in my life changed the way I viewed it. This past week I viewed, Places in the heart another movie I viewed for the first time while in my teens. When I added it to my movie queue about all I could recall about this movie was that it was about a woman and her struggle to keep her farm. However I couldn't really recall what the actual struggle was.

Turns out, early on in the movie she becomes a widow and single mother. Her characters' struggles are somewhat typical of many single parents, such as learning to live without someone to wake up to or turn to during tragedy and trial. She struggles taking on what would have been her late husbands role. She lives in the deep south in a time of segregation. She becomes friends with two somewhat unlikely subjects and they all end up leaning on each other and become fast friends. They are all three facing challenge in their different ways and able to lean on each other.

Single parents cannot possibly survive without others to support them. In my life, it has been close friends, other single parents, my parents and even my own children who have helped me face the difficulties and challenges throughout the past twelve years.

Sally Fields character is stubborn and strong, but also has moments of self-defeat, worry, and fear. I can relate to all of those feelings. While she is struggling with her sudden thrust into singlehood, her sister is strugging with infidelity and forgiveness, another aspect I can relate to.

I was awarded our house in my divorce, it has been a blessing and a burden. Without a roof over our heads, I don't know where we would have gone. Without the house I am in and the mortgage and payments figured prior to the huge rate increases of the past ten years, I would never be able to afford a house on my own.

There have been times during my life as a single mother when coming up with the mortgage was tough. The house itself has cost me thousands in repairs and upkeep. I sometimes thought it would have been easier to rent and let someone else worry about the repairs. But it was worth the struggles to give my children a house of our own. A yard to play in, each a bedroom of their own. In the movie she is determined to keep her family together and in their own home, in her case a cotton farm.

This time, I watched the movie as a single parent. I read a lot of blogs written by single parents. whether by widowhood or divorce, single parents face a lot of the same challenges. Whether ex's are still in the children's lives or not, whether the relationship is civil or strained, whether the kids are young or grown, parenting solo has challenges and rewards.

The strength that the main character has in the movie is unyielding and I try everyday to keep the positive strength that she shows in the movie.

I highly recommend this movie to anyone, it is not all about singleparenting. The movie touches on many other struggles and also hope. A real feel good movie that touches your heart. Probably not as much a favorite with the guys. Perfect for a rainy day.


  1. I have never seen this movie, though I had heard about it. I'll have to check it out! I agree, we can't do it all alone. Single parents need help, whether from family or friends.

  2. Yes, it is a good movie. I loved it.
    A good support system is what we all need indeed.


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