Since February when I was laid off from my steady job, I have been in a bit of a personal fog. I have not really been depressed but more of a stupor. I have more than maybe I should have, enjoyed being able to take my time getting up and moving each morning, relaxing with my coffee. I have been watching silly daytime TV and just plain hanging around by myself.
I have worked a full time job since I was 18 years old and for 8 of those years I also went to night school. I have also been the sole physical parent of my three kids during the past 11 years as their father lives too far away for visits, weekend or otherwise. I have enjoyed being a mom on the go. I like the work ethic my children have witnessed and I like staying busy.
But I have to admit, it was trying, it was tiring, it was exhausting. I just didn't have a lot of ME time. And although I feel a bit like a slug, I have really enjoyed the past two months just vegging out. The weather has been pretty chilly the past two months also which just put me in the mood to curl up with a book or to watch an old movie. In between job board hunting and interviews of course.
This changed yesterday- and today as the weather warmed a bit, I stepped outside and got some heavily neglected yard work completed. Two full eight-hour days shoveling heavy soil and grass that has built up in an approximately 50x4 foot strip of my yard. It was exhausting, it was hard work, it was also a bit unnerving with the cat-calls from passersby (A draw back of living on a very busy street.) But on the flip side what a refreshing couple of days. Able to feel the soil, to clear the land, and to clear my head while getting my tired body out of the house and breathing the clear air. The first two pictures I have posted are the before - You can see the piles I created from the mess in the last picture in this post.
What you cant see from these pictures, is that my grass was growing on such a mound of dirt, that it was near impossible to mow it in the summer. When mowed, the blade would hit into the dirt causing the grass to burn and die. Ugly! So I dug the dirt into many piles, which will be carried away by others who need it, and also to some planting boxes in my own yard. I will plant new grass here at a height to the sidewalk that will be eastier to roll over.
Regardless of how the past few paragraphs sound, I have not been a total recluse. We leave the house often. We just took a three day trip to see my parents, went hiking, I went rollerblading with a friend, and have been out with the girls. This was different.
It was more the first time I have done good hard work in a while and it was good for my soul. I may be sore in some of my small muscle groups for a day or two, my fingernails may not recover for a while, but I feel as though my body and soul are glowing. It may not look like much- until the excess dirt is gone. It will be even better when the weather is good for more than a day or two and I can get it planted.
On another note: Still nothing yet on the job front. Today I received contact regarding the last interview I posted about. I think she really wants me to take the job, but it will be such a pay cut I'm not even sure I could live on it. But she is attempting to work something out with management. Time will tell. If it is meant to be, it will be. Until then, I will continue to enjoy this strange freedom I have missed.
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