Life as a single Mother-Empty nest, Dating, Ex-husband, Best Friends, Full-time Employment, Unemployment, night school...How do these all relate to one another? Come with me:

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Crazy life

So why is it that every time I write a post about a positive turn in my life, something happens that evens it all out again and reminds me of how twisted my life actually is?

The reason I started this blog was to vent about just how Topsy-turvy my life can get. When I would speak with co-workers or friends about my roller coaster life, they would say: ' You should write that down, no one would believe that one person could have a life that crazy.'

When I read over past posts here, I realize it has not changed. It is just in print now.

The latest news is that I am once again among the unemployed. It was not a complete surprise. My boss just did not 'get me'. That is a really frustrating position to be in. I was hired into a certain position, we discussed my strengths and I thought I understood what it was that they expected of me. I did it. There were some overwhelming periods. Not necessarily because the work itself was hard.

The company as a whole was disorganized. None of the SOP's or procedures explained in a clear concise manner the companies procedures.
My boss was inconsistent. On each of my projects it seemed that I would do what he had expected on the last one, and it would be too much or too little.
There was a lot of finger pointing at the management level. This was often discussed among the employees but nothing was done for fear of retaliation.
Almost all employees were working far over the forty hour work week. The engineers were all in their twenties with young families. The long hours were not because we were overwhelmed with work. Disorganization, disagreement on how things should be done among managers, and repeating work unnecessarily were the common reasons.
Around Christmas time my boss and I spoke of my work flow, my competency and his opinion of my work thus far.

He was concerned, he stated that he had seen no progress in the area they had hired me to do. I was stunned. I had been working so diligently over the past eight months feeling as though I had exceeded his expectations.
I can tell you it is a horrible feeling to walk into a superiors office with a feeling of excitement, anticipating the praise for all your hard work, and getting punched in the ego.

It was then that I created a time line of the projects, the tasks and the changes I would make. We both signed it. In the past few months I have nearly completed the list. I have completed multiple projects not included in the list. I have played the management ping-pong when each had a different viewpoint as to how those tasks should be completed.

One being my boss, the other, a quality manager who will be defending my work against the FDA auditors who could potentially close the business if discrepancies are found in an audit.

Every day was stress. Everyday I would come home exhausted. Everyday I would get snippy with my kids after a long day. And add to that a long hour and a half commute each way through congested traffic.

It was not a great place to work, and I could feel that the gauntlet was ready to fall.

Yesterday I was called in. The hard work I stressed over, the projects I lost sleep over, were not enough. They were eliminating my position.

I have never had such a communication issue with a superior. I have always had exceptional employment reviews, and I honestly felt a bit of relief losing that job. Many of my coworkers passed me their information and asked me to keep them in mind they are all nervous and stressed.

I understand that a good part of the nation is out of work and don't know when they will see their next paycheck and losing a good job is nothing to sneeze at. But I am not programmed to feel so out of touch.

I feel confident that something better will come of this. Something closer to home. Something that I can feel confident I am contributing to.

The last week of April, I had been contacted by a previous director and I have had my first interview for a job under him. He is confident in my design skills and there is a chance I will get it. If not, I have many colleagues who have offered recommendations and the job opportunities are filling my inbox.

I really think that this is one of those blessings in disguise, but I sure wish it could have been me telling THEM that it was not working out.

For now, maybe I can catch up on my reading of the blogs I love, and the writings here. Also my son is still here for a week. He leaves on Mothers Day. Another blessing to be sure spending more time with him.

Happy Cinco De Mayo everyone. ( Am I allowed to celebrate if I have not a Mexican gene in my family?)


  1. I am sorry to hear that, but it is a blessing. I wish we could feel the same about Casey's recent Lay off.

  2. Sorry to hear you lost your job. But if it was that stressful, it could be a blessing in disguise. Good luck in your new hunting

  3. Sorry to hear about your lay-off as well. I hope that you find something great soon. Maybe it will end up a blessing for him as well?

  4. When I was reading this I was thinking about Sun Tzu, this quote came to mind, it seems to fit perfectly (I looked it up so I wouldn't get it wrong)

    "If words of command are not clear and distinct, if orders are not thoroughly understood, then the general is to blame. But, if orders are clear and the soldiers nevertheless disobey, then it is the fault of their officers."
    — Sun Tzu

    Sounds like to me your General is to blame.

    Good luck in finding new work and I hope it is way better than what you are leaving.

  5. DH- Thank you, I hope that is exactly what it is.

    Sage- What a great quote. I think I will print that to remind me.

  6. SOunds to me like you need to fax it to your old office bosses!!!!!

  7. Is it okay for me to say that I AM SO EXCITED FOR YOU!!!? In 'dream' (manifestation) talk, this is what would be called a clearing - a huge space opening in your life for something MUCH BETTER to show up. I am sending you all my positive energy right now, lotsa awesomeness-attraction vibes and I promise you that something better is going to show up to take the place of your last position (which sounds like it was too miserable and not a good fit for you).

    Hugs and Love to you : )


  8. haha Sage- maybe I will.

    Thanks Martha- I sure hope you are right. Thank you for the good feelings

  9. I know it is so tough out there especially in a design field. My husband is an architect and had to go get a corporate job 3 years ago b/c projects got scarce and now he has been worring sick with what ifs with this job. It is most likely the economy not you so instead of worrying about what happen just focus on diversifing yourself... Good Luck !!! It will turn around sooner or later that is how life is

  10. polwig-welcome to my blog. And thank you for your comments. That is exactly what i am now focusing on. Being the single breadwinner certainly adds a bit of stress but I have high hopes


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