Life as a single Mother-Empty nest, Dating, Ex-husband, Best Friends, Full-time Employment, Unemployment, night school...How do these all relate to one another? Come with me:

Monday, September 8, 2008

Lighter Side

OK reading over the past few posts, I have let enough of the dark-side out for a while.
Let's see, lighter subjects.
Both of my daughters have been asked to the homecoming dance in a few weeks. This is bittersweet. My oldest has been to her share of dances. I mean she is beautiful, both of my girls are knock-outs (although some may think I am biased). Ahh to wear a size 3 or 5.
But there is something to be said when your baby, the one you want to hold onto forever and rock to sleep every night, receives her learners permit and gets asked, (with a beautiful bunch of flowers and a stuffed piggy) to the very first date dance of her sophomore year. Barely into her 4th week of high school and already the boys are noticing her. I am in for a ride.
It has not been easy with my older daughter. Worrying when she is out with a boy, on a date! Oh the thoughts that go through a mothers mind.... I am sure they are not true- I'm sure they are not true.
I believe I have to give my girls their wings- let them experience heartache, happiness, love, fear. But it has to be the single hardest thing I have ever done in live thus far, and believe me, I have been on quite a ride in this lifetime.
I remember my teen years- so much drama, so many feelings of inadequacy, that is the last thing I want my children to feel, but i know they struggle with it.
One daughter wanting to grow up so fast, the other wanting to 'fix' everyone, make everyone happy.
But they are going out. They get to feel like Cinderella for a night. I went to school date dances. Most of them with my now ex-husband. One other boy in my school, I got up the nerve to ask to a girls choice. I have to say I have had my share of great school dances and not so great. It is a bit ironic to look back and think that the best were with boys that I never ended up dating at all, but my high school years were very different from most. That is a story for another day.
I cant wait to play dress up with my 'little girls' one more time.
Being a single mother, I am the one one who meets the boys, I am the one who must give off the 'Touch my daughter or have her home 5 minutes late and I will serve your head on a platter' look sent through eyes alit with fire. While wishing my daughters to have fun- but not too much fun..
I now know why my parents were so excited for me to go out dressed so beautifully and grown up, but there was always a look in their eyes, a look I am just now beginning to understand. my babies, are not babies anymore.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Tell me what you think: