“Whatever with the past has gone, the best is always yet to come.” Lucy Larcom

Another year has come to pass. As I today add another notch to my 'headboard' of life.

I am still awaiting the final calls and offers this week before that huge decision will be made.

I find it a bit Ironic that it would be my birthday week that would bring the best gift I can think of getting this year.

Two years ago this week, I lost myself- Literally. Just before my birthday that year, I was the victim of both a robbery and an identity theft. Scary to say the least.

Thus began a downward spiral in my professional and financial life.

But on this crisp autumn morning, I sit here alone in silence. Sipping my coffee and just enjoying. The past few nights have been the best sleep I have had in over a year. I am content. I am still a bit nervous, waiting for news on the job offers. But I feel a relief that has become as foreign to me as the sound of an alarm clock in the wee hours.

I can feel it inside, this is a new beginning. A new start. A new Chapter.

I am an empty-nester,  I am sliding into middle age, and I am ready for the new changes.

I feel a bit like the child with a broken bone, removing the cast. Able to move once again. The patient just healing from pneumonia breathing freely once again. I feel healthy and vibrant and ready to take on what comes. Another feeling lost long ago.

Nothing is a sure thing and I am not yet on any payroll- But I have a renewed hope and faith.

Today is a good day for celebrating.

Decisions- Decisions.

As I have mentioned before, the job interview process really sucks. Selling yourself, making those words on paper come to life with confidence and self assurance. Especially when with each day and with each rejection letter- or lack there of- causes your self esteem to diminish that much more.

And here I sit today, some good news- a miracle of sorts. Two jobs for which I have been called back for second interviews, passed the test so far. And once again, trying hard not to get too overly excited, not to jump to assumptions.

And yet, another sleepless night.

Why? 

The two potential job offers, are very different roles, very different industries. 

I can see myself in both roles. I can see the possibility of advancement in both. One of the most frustrating things I have faced in the job hunt is that the salary and company benefits seem to be a secret, seem hidden until the actual offer of employment is offered. Benefits are also held captive from the interviewee.

This makes it so difficult to make decisions. It is also difficult when interviewing for two positions at the same time. If I am offered a job today (on my second in-person interview and plant tour) and I have yet to hear back from the other job (next week) what will I say? 

I am in a bit of a limbo.. afraid to make too rash of a decision on a job which I hope to hold me through retirement. Afraid also to put on hold in order to weigh the advantages of the second choice. I don't want to burn any bridges- especially considering the job market and job security issues in this recession.

Today I may have to make this decision. 

I try to go with my gut feeling as some have suggested, thing is my gut is giving no signs.

Don't get me wrong, I am so relieved to HAVE any offers. But more than one makes it that more difficult.