Our most basic common link is that we all inhabit this planet. We all breathe the same air. We all cherish our children's future. And we are all mortal. John F. Kennedy

My heart goes out to those facing the wrath of Hurricane Irene. It seems it was not as bad as feared and the casualties are low. However there were some casualties and that is more than you hope for.
There will also be possibly months of clean up following the storms. Thank goodness she decided to rear her head in fair weather rather than the dead of winter.
If you are in the area, I wish you well.

We were expecting our own storm (much smaller of course) here on the home base. My best friend was celebrating a milestone birthday and as we are both low on funding these days, decided on a day at the lake about a mile from her home.

A beautiful day and a much needed break. Fresh air, friends and nothing to do but enjoy the day.

It was a bit warm and we ended up swimming with the fishes. riding in the boat and just enjoying the sunshine.
Those are the times when you know things have to turn out ok. A great chance to breathe the fresh air, enjoy others company, soak in some Vitamin D from the sun and just let the worries leave your mind for a day.

And that is exactly what we did.
My daughter had to work and came up late in the day. She got her hair cut short and she looks fabulous. But then, I am biased and could never see any of my kids not looking fabulous.

Rounded out the day falling into bed a little early. Absolutely exhausted. Only to be woken up an hour later by my frightened dog. The storm we had expected earlier had hit and the thunder was too much for her. After approximately an hour of dog wrestling in my bed, I drifted off again.

Followed by the strangest dream I have had in a long time. I do not usually remember my dreams. This one had a lot to do with my ex husband and his taking over in my life. I literally woke up confused. He is a very small part of my life and has been for a long time. So I really don't understand the meaning of this dream... if there is one.

However, this Sunday morning, coffee and computer in hand, I am relaxed and hopeful. The air is fresh and clear from the late night storm, my mind is clear also. Ready to take on another week...please let it come with a job offer.... a PAYING job offer.

She's Gonna Make it After All

First week in college for my baby and she is doing fine.

Still looking for a part-time job for monthly utilities and essentials but no panic attacks yet.

As a recent student myself, I realize that the bulk of the work does not come in the first week. However, she has made good friends and seems compatible with her two roomies. She has completed her coursework and even worked a little ahead. She has walked the campus and is aware of those offices which will offer her the aid she will require.

And- she is happy. She loves it there.

Thank goodness for social media sites such as Facebook and for cell phones. We have been in touch often.

That eases my mind quite a bit.

This house? It is definitely empty. My older daughter is here although she works and has her own agenda and activities.

I even went on a date. It was more for fun and to get out of the house than a date that might go somewhere.. he is MUCH too young for me. But it was nice to get out and just let loose for a night.

 "The times they are a Changin'.

We are not alone

The past year has been a trial for me. As I have beaten a dead horse about.....

Over the past 14 yrs I have struggled as a single mother. Money was tight and the kids went without a lot of the extras. But nothing has been quite as hard as this past year.
Unemployment does not stretch near as far as one might think. But I am blessed to qualify for the benefits. For now.
It will not last forever, and I wouldn't expect that it would. But without it, I and my girls, would be on the street.
In my years as a single mother, I prided myself on never taking a hand out. Never did I seek out government support or charitable gifts.
There were always families worse off than we were. As long as there was a roof over our heads, clothes on our backs, heat to warm out bodies and food to fill our bellies, we were rich.
But as this year continues on, those are seemingly becoming more and more luxuries.
Eight years I have spent in night school. Long nights studying after the kids were in bed. Working towards a higher degree of education and a dream of one day giving my kids more than they have ever dreamed.
And now, those dreams are just that. Dreams of using that hard earned degree- not for extras, luxuries and fun and travel.... Just a hope that it will some day land me a job just to catch up once again. A dream that I will not lose the house I have been able to hold onto solo for so long.

But I am not alone.

On the heels of the latest US unemployment rates exceeding 9%, and my own home state not far below that. I recently read an article in Reuters. For America's "99ers," jobs crisis is hard to escape

"Mary Kay Coyne has just filed what she says is her 1,862nd job application since being thrown out of work three years ago."


I am not far behind Mary Kay. I believe that I have also posted approximately one thousand resumes and applications for jobs which are often outside of my usual expertise and often at a much lower pay grade. Just to once again get bread on the table. 


I am not alone. 


But, sufficed to say, I have high hopes. Things have to turn around soon. Right?

Vegas babay

A trip to anywhere at Christmas time is usually not in the cards for anyone among the unemployed. Not true for me. My best friend started a new job her first job in over 15 years, this past summer and invited me to stand in as her 'other person' for the big Christmas bash.

This was not your ordinary office Christmas party. The company has agents all over the United States and my friend works at the corporate office here in Utah. It was a great opportunity for her and her co-workers to put a face to voices they spoke with on the phone many times a week. For me- it was a free trip to Vegas!

We had a great time. We drove down rather than fly, it gave us an opportunity to stop by my parents house on the way. Although it is ten degree's warmer where they live, they were both sick with the flu.

We got to Vegas Friday afternoon, just enough time to get cleaned up. The company scheduled a cocktail party -meet and greet for that night. It was a casual affair. I thought it might be a great chance to meet some handsome young bachelors while she was introduced to coworkers. That was not to be. Most were couples. The only other singles were young nineteen year old girls from her office.

The party was open bar. The company went all out to make it memorable for the employees. And it was. After about two hours we were led upstairs to an improv comedy show. We were not the only patrons at the show but the entire half circle front section of the theater was reserved for the employees and guests.

The comedy was rank and a bit uncomfortable for my friend as she works everyday with these people but funny nonetheless. The evening after the comedy was ours, but after a few drinks and the six hour drive, we were ready to call it a night.

We stayed at the MGM grand and after two nights there, I am convinced it is time to save up for a new mattress here at home. Those beds were like sleeping on a cloud.

Saturday was awesome. We had the morning to ourselves and played a little at the casinos. My friend regretted that we rode a roller coaster as it caused her residual whiplash to flare up. We didn't win big at the tables and we didn't lose either. That night we got to dress up. There was to be a dinner and a dueling piano show.
I have been to one other dueling piano show prior to this and  it is an experience I will always remember and was anxious to watch one again.
We took a taxi to a very swanky upper class country club. It was beautifully lit in the warm Vegas evening. The night began with hor devours to die for. Then a dinner buffet that made the hor devours taste even better as it was not that great.

After a little more socializing and a chance for the overindulge-rs to do just so, the entertainment began.

I was so excited for the show. It started out just as I expected, Billy Joel, Van Morrison, Jimmy Buffet and all the classics. There was a performance by a terrific Rod Stewart impersonator, complete with twirling microphone stand. And then, it turned quickly into a hair band concert of the 80's... one of the artists stood on the pianos belting out a guitar solo from AC/DC so loud I am sure they could hear it in San Francisco.

It was still fun to dance to and it got a little crazy as it was open bar that night also. I still had the time of my life. Let loose and let off some stress.

But am I really getting that old? Am I really turning into one of those old women? It was so loud my ears rang for hours afterward, the nineteen year old girls were driving me crazy, the guitar solos went on a little too long, and I preferred the softer classic rock to dance to.
The highlight of the evening? (insert sarcasm mark here) was getting hit on continuously by a very drunk older man while his fiancée stood two feet away glaring at me. Apparently I was the 'sexiest girl in the whole room' and was 'rocking my dress'.

But those were just the highlights. It was truly a great time and I was grateful for the time away.

Downside to the trip is in the ten minutes I spent with my parents, I managed to catch the flu and have been fighting it for a week. It could have possibly been that my friend was always directly too hot to my too cold and drove with the windows down partially in 20 degree weather.

My son is coming to town tomorrow to spend a couple weeks with us for Christmas I will be drinking up the Vitamin C and resting up to make this the best Christmas yet!


Anyone ever been to a dueling piano show? Do you prefer it up loud and crazy? Am I acting like an old lady?  I can take it - tell me the truth     Maybe it was the flu coming on.

Addiction should never be treated as a crime. It has to be treated as a health problem. We do not send alcoholics to jail in this country. Over 500,000 people are in our jails who are nonviolent drug users. Ralph Nader

On Facebook yesterday, an old school friend posted this as her status:

If anybody has any feedback positive OR negative regarding Wellbutrin, I would appreciate it.....

I have taken Wellbutrin. There was a time after my divorce and again after the demise of a six-year relationship; when I couldn't sleep, I couldn't focus on my daily responsibilities. The anti-depressant Wellbutrin was recommended by a therapist. I am typically a positive, glass is half full personality type. It is rare even with this roller coaster life, that I am really down or unhappy. I took the medication for just a month. I will say it helped, at least with the sleep by clearing my head of the demon thoughts.

But then, I am not much for taking any medication. I don't like to feel drugged. Twenty-one years ago when I had major surgery and was prescribed the steroid Prednisone. I was also given a pain reliever, Percocet a cocktail of Oxycodone and Acetaminophen. After a week of the pain killers, nausea and hallucinatory dreams that would scare the shit out of anyone I quit the Percocet and limped by on over the counter pain relievers. 

Call me a control freak if you must but I do not like feeling as though I am not in control of my thoughts and actions. I have a deep empathy for those suffering from disorders that affect the body and mind. I also understand the need for pharmaceuticals and drugs. I just have a hard time understanding the needs of a healthy individual who feels the need to take them to escape.

Horrible things happen to people everyday. Many people face things that are just too much to bear. And I can imagine that they feel that getting high will help them escape those feelings. But it is a temporary fix. Most times taking them further into that dark tunnel. 

The county I reside in is often referred to as 'Happy Valley' a term used in part because of the saturation of the LDS faith in the area making it seem to some outsiders as the sacred hallowed ground where nothing illegal, immoral or unclean should happen. And yet others mock it with the name as a place so clean there is no fun to be had here. In reality, it is like any other suburban community. As in other communities, the population is increasing ten-fold, the crime rate is on the rise, and drug use is also rising.

It seems as pressures grow in communities, the need for escape also grows. And in turn, drug and alcohol use and abuse seems to follow. In times past it seemed that most stresses were cooled by the men meeting at the corner watering hole and drinking and joking away the weeks stress. While the wives would hold play dates and gossip sessions where pointing out others problems made one's worry's seem smaller and easier. What do we do in modern day? How many are turning to narcotics and illegal drugs?

Bad things have always happened to people. People have always wished for that escape. But as time goes by, I often wonder why do we create more chaos and trouble on ourselves? Why does that make any one of us feel better?

Another old friend whom I recently reconnected with has been through some tough times. Married to an alcoholic, divorced, blamed and shamed, turned to drugs, then stronger drugs, then rehab, four children created in the chaos, unemployed, turning to sex as a relief and pregnant and alone at 41. Is she learning? is her life changing for the better? It seems not. She is not alone.

Drug use a huge problem in this country. And not just illegal drugs. Prescription drug abuse is on the rise. Drug use is the biggest war we will ever face as a country. And it is not getting better. 

The first time I watched a drug ad on television, I was shocked. My first thought was, do the pharmaceutical companies really need to advertise? As I have worked in the medical device and pharmaceutical arena most of my adult life, I understand the profits of such companies.

Then I began to listen to the ads closer, if you are having these symptoms (most of which were vague enough that on a given day might be common to almost anyone over the age of say 30) ask your doctor. Ask your doctor? When did we some to this place in time where the patient is requesting of the doctor? How can it be safe? 

I remember my kids commenting on the two minutes of side effects listed at the end of the more recent ads. Surely to cover their asses in litigation against those laymen home grown pharmacists- the viewers. My kids would say things like wow who would want to take that drug? With all those side effects? I would explain that most prescriptions have a laundry list of side effects, it is just that most people in this instant gratification world ignore the twelve page leaflet accompanying it. 

I do not blame the physicians, with the exception of those illegally prescribing. It is embarrassing how quickly this virus seems to be spreading across the nation. We as a nation may just be our own worst enemy.

The drug lords, the corrupt physicians are certainly not idiots, quite the opposite. They will sit back and watch us kill ourselves and each other off while taking it all to the bank.

Which brings me back to the post by my friend. It is the small things like this that start the fires... Have we become so commonplace with prescription use that we would take the advice of our social media friends over that of a practicing and licensed therapist and physician? And should we? Is drug use (even legal) so common that a consensus of enough friends who have used it before seems a better choice than the doctors who seem a little too quick to sign off that prescription pad to feed a society of quick fixes?

Do you remember a time when you could walk through a mall or city street and never see on that walk the signs of drug or alcohol abuse? Can you now? It is no longer a disease of the ghetto, nor is it something folks from the other side of the tracks have 'gotten themselves into.

It is the neighbor lady school teacher, the basketball star, the famous movie star, the soccer coach and the homecoming queen. It is everywhere and everyone. 

In addition to the use and the abuse and its effects on those who use, abuse leads to crime increases, more violence, and overall poor health of the country as a whole. Those who are terrified of the thought of crossing the borders to Mexico, who think that countries problems seem far from our own better think again. 

What are your thoughts?

End of Summer

This summer has been bittersweet. I have had a lot of time to spend with my girls. My girls who will soon be leaving the nest for their own lives. We have been able to do and see so many things.

The flip-side is that I have not worked all summer and am still jobless. Worry is beginning to set in. We are doing ok. But just OK. We have school fees to pay and school clothes to buy for my youngest.She made the drama club this year. She will receive her letter sweater, attend clinics and workshops and trips. But all of those cost money. More money than the monthly bills.

I have hope this will all work out and I will be working soon. I am sure it will. But it is stressful and a bit worrisome.

I am happy though. This stress cannot cloud the time I have spent with the girls. It cannot take away from the pride I feel knowing my son is home safe and grown to such a wonderful man. The pride that my older daughter is working with those less fortunate and doing one hell-a job. And the pride that my youngest is not only filling her senior year with fun and experiences but also preparing for the future on her own.

I am one proud and happy mama today.

Happy Sunday.

We are off to watch one of my good friends from my high school years play at another local outdoor summer Art festival in Park City. Soaking up every drop of sun and fun.

All A-Twitter

The social media craze may be just that... a craze, a Phase, a fad... But I don't care.

Recently I have taken a bit of flack from my parents, my kids, my coworkers and friends about all the sites I am on.
Starting with this blog. Sometimes the reaction is:

Them: 'You have a blog? Cool! you should write a book.'

Me: well, maybe if my grammar was a tad bit cleaner. Lord knows my life is a bit of a comedy.

or

Them: Blog? What is a blog?

or

Them: Really? The whole world knows all about you? Is that safe? Why would you share your life like that with strangers? How dare you put your kids on the internet what about child molesters?

Me: erm.. No, the whole world does not know ALL about me. I don't use the name notasoccermom EVERYwhere I go! I keep this as private as I can whilst being able to share a bit of me and my story to others. My mother taught me to share. And the friends I have made through this blog- well, I know all about them...so I guess we aren't really strangers any more than a guy I might talk to in a bar. My kids are safe, two are adults themselves and just as I teach them to be safe on-line, I do as I say. I am not sure that a molester would go to the trouble to do a sherlock holmes on my site... hunt us down just to have my children. they are beautiful and well worth the trouble but I think we will be ok.

FaceBook:
Them: What is facebook? And also very similar responses as above with the blog....safety and such.

or

Them: I don't care to hear what everybody is eating for breakfast or when they take their dog for a walk...etc..

Me: At first glance on facebook, I felt exactly the same. But it has become a great place to get re-acquainted with friends I have not spoken to since high school, where we are, what has happened in our lives, who has grandchildren, who lost their hair. It is a virtual reunion.
It is also a place where my extended family can share news such as my cousins new baby we have been waiting a decade for. Facebook can be awesome. I have friends who just don't like it's publicness... what do they have to hide? You choose what you put in. You choose your friends. Unless you don't want one person to know about another.. I suppose that would be sticky in any situation though eh? I have heard of people who dont want their parents reading what thier friends read and I find it a bit funny.

And then there is Twitter... a whole new ballgame. Many many people don't 'get' Twitter. I suppose it is a bit like star trek to the geeks. We have our own language, we can relate like no other groups and people on the outside just aren't sure they want to accept 'us'.

I admit, even more so than Facebook, I was reluctant. Not even my children, raised in the electronic age have Twitter accounts. They mock me, their mother.

My defense: Although I have a LOT to learn still about the inter workings of the twitterverse, it has yet to cease to entertain me! In all honesty, I don't really send out many status updates. This is for the most part because I am finding out just how boring my days can be compared with my twitter followers.
However, where else can you get updates on Ashton Kutcher's new movie spread- straight from the 'horse's' mouth. (just an analogy Ashton) I love getting quick glimpses into his daily life on the set. Also his wife Demi. I love her! Who supported her husband when he 'Ding dong ditched' Ted Turners office, LIVE as it happened. (with Ted's OK of course) A pay-off on a bet- when he beat him with one million followers.
How else would I know that Shaq loves 'yo mama' jokes. Marlee Matlin's petition for closed captioning on all of Netflix flicks.
I love getting up-to-the-minute updates from CNN. Being introduced to brand new singers whom I love like Chris Blake and telling him personally how much I love his music.
Or how heartbroken the legendary Elizabeth Taylor was when MJ passed. All the celebrities and 'regular folk' mourning in unison at the first word of both his and Farrah's passing.

I have many followers, and I follow many. Way too many to mention here. Some I wont mention as they may not WANT to be followed.
I hope it stays this way, fresh and fun and non threatening. It always seems that there is someone who ruins it for everyone... I really hope that is not the case.
Hearing from celebrities, other single parent friends, other friends as they are fighting the same fight we call life, in their own words, in real time.. is kinda cool. So much better than tabloid junk. I really don't feel like it is an imposition on them, more of a fun way to interact with fans.
And just today- just now, a new friend offering advice on my sore throat. I hate being sick.

If you would like to follow my boring life on Twitter my handle is notthesoccermom
see you on the flip side.
TweeT!